Explaining Bae
by Retronym
Summary: Ness's vocabulary is constantly expanding, just as any kid's would. Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of asking Lucario to explain an overheard term to him, and chaos ensues.


**Another one-shot about a kid and some new words.**

"Incoming!"

The couch cushion flew down the stairs, bumpily making a beeline for the foyer below. Yoshi, who had been casually walking down the stairs, yelped and leapt down the remaining steps in a tumble as the cushion barreled down shortly behind. It was ridden by none other than Ness and Toon Link, both yelling happily as they cleared the stairs and slid on the floor of the hallway. They got very far after the steps. Too far, actually.

The pillow slammed into the far wall, sending the two boys flying up against it. They slid to the floor in a heap of limbs.

"Ow," muttered Ness. "Inertia hurts."

"That was fun!" declared TL, getting to his feet.

"Why'd you do that?" asked Yoshi, who was picking himself up as well, still looking slightly shocked at the sudden projectile that had knocked him off the stairs. "And how do you know what inertia is?"

"Well," replied Ness, "To answer your first question, we were bored and TL felt like sledding, but it's springtime! So we just had to make do. And I learned about inertia a couple months ago from Pit. My vocabulary grows all the time."

Yoshi looked curious. "And how did Pit know what inertia was?"

"You mean the word, or the actual thing? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he learned it existed that time he was flying and smacked into a tree."

"Hey," said TL. "I just remembered that I have a match in, like, ten minutes! I gotta go."

"Aww, what am I going to do?" complained Ness. "Lucas is in the same match, and sliding down the stairs alone is boring."

"Sorry," said TL regretfully, and he departed. Ness turned to Yoshi.

"Uh…no thank you," said Yoshi, waving his hands. "Last time I did that, we ran into Samus and bowled her over. Not going to have a repeat of that explosion. I think Pit's still got the mark. Anyways, see you…"

Ness wandered aimlessly down to the lobby, not sure what to do. Perhaps he'd go into the kitchen and get a snack. As he passed the lounge, he almost ran into Ike, who was exiting the room.

"Have you seen Marth?" Ike asked him. Ness shook his head, and Ike continued off. Ness heard the others in the lounge snickering.

"Wonder what Ike wants," commented Falco snidely.

"Psh. Marth is totally Ike's bae," said Captain Falcon, and the people in the room snorted and laughed.

_Bae? What's a bae?_ Ness figured they didn't mean the body of water. What was so funny about it?

He continued toward the kitchen to get his snack, but he was still curious about this usual word. He had to ask someone. In the kitchen, he came across Lucario, who was looking in the refrigerator.

"Hi Lucario!" he said.

"Hey kid," the Pokémon replied. "What's up?"

"Not much," said Ness. "But I have a question."

Lucario huffed. "I swear, if you ask me _one more time_ about if Sheik's a guy or a girl-"

"No, it's not about that!" assured Ness. "I just wanna know…what's a bae?"

Lucario looked at him strangely. "Uh, a body of water?"

"No, like a person being a bae. What is it?"

Lucario looked slightly incredulous again. "Where'd you hear that?"

"The guys in the lounge said it. What, is it bad?"

Lucario paused for a moment as an idea popped into his head. A devious smile spread across his face, unnoticed by the PSI user in the doorway. "No, not at all. It's just a more advanced word, I guess. It's just a shnazzy way to say best friend, like, a really, really good friend."

"Oh!" said Ness. That made sense. Ike and Marth were indeed very good friends. But why was it so funny to the others? It was like they were joking or something. Did Ike get in a big fight with Marth, and Captain Falcon was being sarcastic? Ness was curious again.

"Okay, thanks!" Ness left, and Lucario returned to the fridge with a grin.

It didn't take very long for Ness to run into Ike again. The swordsman was clearly still looking for Marth, wandering through the halls and looking into rooms.

"Hey," said Ness. "Are you still looking for Marth?"

"Yeah," said Ike, looking slightly frustrated. "Why, have you seen him?"

"No," admitted Ness. "Are you mad at him?"

"No," said Ike. "Why would I be?"

"Well," said Ness, slightly skeptical of Ike's response, "It was just that the other guys in the lounge were talking about you guys, and they thought something was really funny."

"What were they saying?" asked Ike sharply, apparently confused.

"Well, I dunno why it was so funny, Captain Falcon just said that Marth was your bae…"

There was a brief, tense silence. "What?" said Ike in a dangerously quiet voice.

"Uh, he said Marth was your bae…" Ike's expression was freaking him out a little bit. Ness edged back. Why was he so angry? "What's the matter?"

Ike simply unsheathed his sword and began down the hallway, shouting, "Okay, that's it! This is the last time! Somebody is going to die!" He soon disappeared from sight, leaving Ness rather bemused. He sure hoped that Ike wouldn't kill Marth, for signs were still pointing toward the theory that Ike and Marth were _super_ mad at each other. Why else would Ike be so angry about someone calling Marth his friend?

He soon realized that he had forgotten to get his snack, and returned to the kitchen to get something to eat. He was going to make himself some toast and put Nutella or something on it, but them he remembered that he was temporarily banned from using the new toaster. _Psh, that last one was just an accident. No one got hurt or anything! The thing was super old. We probably would have burned it soon anyway._ He instead expertly made himself some macaroni and cheese. After finishing it, he decided to return to his room until one of his friends was available to do something.

As he ascended the building, he passed Mario, Zelda, and Robin conversing in the hall.

"…trying to calm Ike down a bit," Mario was saying. "He's already knocked Snake out cold and whacked Falco a bunch with a shovel. I'm pretty sure he's currently chasing Captain Falcon around the building, so Luigi and Marth are trying to find him-"

Just then, Captain Falcon raced by the group, nearly knocking Ness over. He was shortly followed by Ike, who was brandishing his sword wildly and screaming, "FRIENDS, YOU *&%$&# $%! WE ARE FRIENDS! YA HEAR ME?!"

As they barreled down the stairs, Luigi and Marth jogged over, panting. They halted beside the group in the hall.

"Ugh," said Luigi. "This isn't working."

"What's he so crazed about?" asked Robin, his eyes wide.

"Not actually sure," gasped Marth. "He's just screaming something about friends and the last straw…"

"Well, we'd better get some medical supplies ready in the infirmary," sighed Zelda.

A brief silence followed, in which Mario noticed Ness's presence. "Hi, Ness. Strange stuff, huh?"

"Hey," said Ness with a small wave. He wasn't really sure what on earth was going on, or how exactly he played into it, so he decided just not to ask about it. Just the normal wacky stuff that happened in the Super Smash Bros. residence. Instead, he inquired, "Is Lucas done his match?"

Zelda looked confused, thinking that they were still on the topic of Ike's madness. "Why do you want to know?"

Ness looked at her strangely. _Duh, why do you think?_ "Well, I mean, I just want to know. Lucas is my bae."

A simultaneous shout went up from the others. "WHAT?!"

Somewhere, far in the distance, the fangirls shriek.

**(just so you know, I don't "ship" IkexMarth. :p Just confirming that.)**


End file.
